Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Dr Sophie Mace is a General Practitioner and Lactation Consultant in Nelson Tasman who specialises in perinatal and infant health, in particular breastfeeding, sleep and mental health. Combined with her extensive knowledge and skills, Sophie has a passion for helping babies and whānau thrive in the early years of life. You can connect with Dr Sophie Mace at: www.instagram.com/aotearoa.baby.clinic/  or www.babyclinic.co.nz .

One of the most important "jobs" we have as parents is to look after our own needs.

Not only is this important for our mental health and well-being, but it's crucial for our ability to respond to our children's emotional needs.

You’ve probably experienced this first hand - when you’re having a bad day (or week), your kids are so much needier, and their behaviour is harder to manage. When we’re tired, stressed or overstimulated, we lose some of our ability to co-regulate our children’s emotions. 

Self-care looks different for different people. Ask yourself: what are the things you need to do to feel “normal?” What are your non-negotiables and what should they be? For some it will be a walk or time in the garden, for others it will be 20 minutes alone before bed to have a cup of tea.

As parents, we sometimes feel that our needs are less important - a “nice to have” rather than a necessity. Often we feel that advocating for our needs is “selfish”, especially if that means negotiating with a partner or saying no to our children.

But in reality, it is a necessity. You deserve to feel okay now. Our needs are not “less” than those of our children. We need to ensure that our own needs (for food, water, rest, connection, recharging) are met before we can fully provide for our children’s needs.

What daily or weekly practices do you need to feel like yourself?